When in doubt, PRAY!

Two days ago, I received an apology from someone who means the world to me. What would've seemed so small to others, meant the world to me. I walked away from an argument in tears, hurt, angry, done...again. I went to my closet and literally threw my hands up. I was angry with God. I told him how I really felt. I told him I was tired of reading my bible, praying, living in His truth, teaching His ways to my children, and not feeling like I was going anywhere. I was stuck. I needed Him to show me something, SHOW ME YOU ARE THERE PLEASE, I screamed. I cried. The tears soaked my shirt. I told him, God...I am weak, I cannot do this on my own. If you are there, show me now. PLEASE! A feeling of calm rushed over me. I left my closet and headed into the dining room. I was greeted with an apology. At this very moment, I heard the holy spirit speak straight to my heart. "Told you I was here." I smiled and couldn't stop. This moment was what I needed to keep going. I needed to be shown He IS there. Not just because scripture says He is, I needed to feel it. It had been so long since I have truly let it out in prayer like that. Let's be real, I pray, but sometimes I feel it's your average prayer. Sometimes it doesn't have a spunk, the kick it needs. This prayer, my friends, was the kicker. It opened my heart again.

Let me add, I know He is always there. The doubt that fills my mind, that's the enemy. DECEIVING is his greatest strategy. The enemy wants us to believe we will get no results. The enemy is trying to rob us of hope by making it appear that prayer isn't working.  We live in a world where when we want something, we expect it NOW. When we want a mountain moved, it better be moved within 5 seconds, because that's how quick my Google app can give me an answer, so why don't you work that quick, God? Well...there is good reason. The Lord wants us to learn, grow, be changed. I don't have any fancy scripture to go with this post. But I can tell you, that there is good reason, millions of good reasons, why God does things the way He does. He takes His time for good reason. Maybe it's because there is something else to be seen. Am I not expecting anything when I pray? I should always expect a result when I pray. Am I trying to prescribe how He should answer my prayer? He's got this... Is my prayer being denied when I show no diligence to help God with the answer? Am I REALLY asking for HIS will to be done? I will trust in Him, His timing, His reasons. The enemy will not win, when I have doubt, I will PRAY!