The post I read today really tugged at my heart strings. I fail my husband daily, but he still loves me in spite of my ugliness. I can be super impatient. Complain WAY too much. And not so fun to be around sometimes. I could name a few reasons why I act this way...buttttttttt a better word for them would be "excuses". Marriage is about sacrifice, compromising, and effort. Effort. E f f o r t. Daily. Wisdom. Patience. EFFORT. I can't say that word enough. It takes work. You can't give up. Coming from someone who has tried giving up a few times, I have learned to take the good with the bad. Never EXPECT anything. Ask for it. Aside from marriage, being a Christian means you have to take your eyes off of everyone else and look at yourself. Stop judging, stop reasoning with others mistakes. What could I have done to help the situation? What did I do to make it worse? Asking myself these questions and learning God's wisdom has brought me so much peace. Less guilt. Focusing on what I can bring to my marriage has really painted a better picture for us. Never give up hope. Never give up, ever.
Communicating kindly during an argument or tough subject is something I struggle with immensely! Here is a list of the Ten Simple Tips to Communicating Kindly from the post I read today off of nittygrittylove.com (I summarized some in my own words)
1. Don't be stingy with encouraging words.
2. Let the small things go. Don't nitpick the way your spouse does chores. Thank him and move on.
3. Cheer him on! He wants you to be his biggest fan.
4. Don't die on every hill. Do you want to be right or happy?
5. SMILE MORE! Lift your eyebrows. It's proven to make others less defensive.
6. Say thank you. We all work hard. We all need to be thanked for our efforts.
7. Complain wisely. Not every little annoyance needs attention.
8. Cushion criticism. Say something positive before and after a negative comment.
9. Empathize. Try to see a different perspective. It can change the whole tone of the convo.
10. Pray for wisdom.
Wisdom of God's word is something I always thirsted for. I remember going to church and not really hearing what was said. Not applying it. Not nurturing the scripture. Until finally, one day...it hit me like a brick wall. I was only going to learn what God wanted from me by READING. By praying for wisdom. By READING the wisdom he so effortlessly put before us. Things began to change. I read my bible daily. I spent time with God daily, even if for 15 minutes. Now, more than ever, I find so much peace around me. It doesn't all have to be perfect. I just have to try. I just have to tell God I need him every day. I have to surrender.
Today was a good day. I'd like to think it was a perfect day, really! We spent most of our time outside. Swinging, talking, eating, admiring nature, and making "pie". At one point, we stepped inside for my favorite song, How He Loves by David Crowder Band. And as I danced with Hallie in my arms, I cried. I was suddenly overwhelmed with joy. A good, emotional feeling. She laid her head on my shoulder. And we danced. For the whole song. It was beautiful. I listened to the words and they hit me hard. Oh, how He loves us! Then, my outspoken 3 year old spoke up. "Mama, you are dancin cause you had too much coffee"! The tears dried and we laughed. For minutes upon minutes. A giggle fit, I like to call it. At that point, we were just laughing at each other laughing. I went back to reading and she went back to playing. She stood in the doorway and told me she "ubbs" me. She stops me in my tracks about 5 times a day to tell me how much she loves me. Sometimes it's only just "a little". But most of the time it's "too much". And just when I am sinking in guilt for feeling like a failure, this quickly reminds me I'm doing it right. I'm teaching her to love. And love always remains.
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