You turned 6 months old today. The time is flying. Looking back at your birthday, I still chuckle. And probably tell anyone who ever looks at you and says, "woah, he's huge"! I always respond with, "he weighed almost 11 pounds when he was born"! You will be hearing about this for the r e s t o f y o u r l i f e! Those 24+ hours were hellacious. I remember telling your dad to tell everyone to leave the room and walking into the bathroom and loosing it. Crying because I was tired of being in labor and nothing was happening. Just like magic, daddy snapped his fingers, G-paw made a little scene, and the nurses popped my water. It wasn't long after that I was pushing and had a nurse on top of me assisting with pushing you out. They laid you on my chest and you just looked at me. Not crying, just looking at me. And you felt huge. That feeling was comfirmed when the doctor told us you weighed a whopping 10 pounds and 13.6 ounces. Telling this story will never get old for me, but for you it will, I am sure.
You love splashing
You are trying to pull yourself up
You love finger snacks and don't like eating much else yet
You are trying to talk
You find your sister funnier than anyone else
You hate your car seat
You LOVE bella
I sing "Somewhere Over The Rainbow" every night and you fall asleep before I can finish the song
You bring so much joy into our lives. From just two weeks old, you've smiled and laughed more than any baby I have ever known. Your best tickle spot is your neck. And your giggles are what turn my moods around quicker than a snap! Just the other day, I put some spinach cheetos on your high chair and you picked one up with your thumb and index finger and took a bite and I about lost it. It was so CUTE but so unfair. I wish time would slow down. I am enjoying every moment of watching you grow up. You have recently starting blabbing, I wouldn't call it talking. You get frustrated when someone takes anything from you and anytime you don't have our attention, you make it known that you want it! You adore anything big sis does. Especially when she jumps up and down making silly noises. It cracks you up! Who knew, at the age of 23, I would be a mama to a sweet little boy and almost 4 year old little girl. I thank God for the two of you every day. I am so thankful for how blessed I am. You are always happy, always smiling, always into something. The sweetest little boy on the PLANET. Mommy loves you, and I look forward to every day to come.
You are precious in every way. The sunshine in my day; the joy in my soul. And the love of my life.
I'll love you forever, and always...always. My baby you'll be.
Love, mom.
My mind has been racing with thoughts this past week. Negative and positive. I have decided I am way too hard on myself. I need to take it easy more, and worry less. Especially when it comes to things only Jesus can control. Hallie and I were watching Gilmore Girls earlier tonight, which used to be mine and my moms favorite show to watch together. I remember she would call me and tell me when a new episode came on, and she always reminded me she was watching it because it reminded her of us. And boy do I think of her each and every time I watch this show. During watching TV, which may I add, Hallie thoroughly watches this show with me. To be 3 years old, I don't understand how it could interest her but she stays in tune well. Anyway, I started scratching Hallie's back, and she went to pull her shirt up so I wasn't scratching through her shirt. This. Tugged. At. My. Heart. Strings. So. Bad. The first thought that raced through my head was, "it's my turn..." But I also silently cried. I wish you were here to scratch my back. Even though I'm almost 24 years old, I need my mama. Those were the most thoughtful, softest, bestest back scratches I've ever received in my entire life. I miss them. Once I remembered it is my turn, to be a gentle, loving mama, I also thought about how lonely I have felt lately. I feel like I have no friends. I have my best friends. I always will, Julie and Anna. But we live very busy, different lives and I barely get to see them. Other than that, the word friend in my book is toast. I need friends who have children who want to see me more than once a month or once a year. This is definitely something I will be working hard on in the next coming weeks but especially when/if we move to Charleston. I say "if" because there's a chance we may be moving to Greenville. I need friends because I like talking, actually I love it. Sometimes I have to remind myself to just shut the hell up. I need other mommy friends who can relate to the stuff I face day to day, someone to cut up with, someone I can trust. But, even while desiring more friends and feeling lonely, I remembered something so important. I have everything. I have two, beautiful, healthy, happy children. Two children who wake up every day happy to see me. Who need me. To feed and care for them like no one else can. To listen. To play with. To learn from. These kids have struck every last nerve possible these past few days. After all, being a stay at home mom means always being with them unless I'm lucky and get a break. The days are flying by. They are growing up. Before I blink, Hallie will be 4 and Jon will be 1. It is mind blowing. Time is something I will never understand. It feels like yesterday I was a brand new mommy holding Hallie for the first time. And now, while still learning something new every day, I'm a great mom. A mom who chooses to put my kids before anything and everyone, excluding my husband and Christ--of course. But. I really have to pat myself on the back, because I barely do. I'm pretty darn good at this mom thing. And for that, I am happy.
One of the best feelings in the world thus far is telling Hallie I love her and hearing her reply, "I ubb you too, mama..." It never gets old. It gets better every time.
