Today is the first day in a long time I've actually had the time to sit down, relax, and write a blog. I've been slacking. I probably could've squeezed in the time. But, motherhood comes first. About 2 weeks ago, we made the big move to Charleston, SC. It is so beautiful here. There are hundreds of new places to explore. I will never run out of options. A favorite so far is James Island County Park. Hallie loves the splash park, the playground. Just yesterday, we went there to have a picnic and our bible study lesson. Hallie made some friends and so did I! It was lovely. Jon ate a few leaves and crawled after his big sis all day.
In other news, I am finally following my passion for photography! I had my first shoot with a dear friend a week ago at Morris Island. I have 5 other shoots scheduled in the next 3 months. I'm offering them for free because I really just want to get in the practice for right now. Get the feel for things. I'm so lucky to have my two babies to practice on, too. I'll be shooting some pics of them here in Charleston sometime this weekend! I will soon be using my blog to advertise my pics as well, so stay tuned. :)
Lately, being a mother has taken every single second of my time. I cannot seem to catch up. We just got back from strolling the neighborhood. I wasn't aware of how BIG it was until now. The kids are down for a nap, Hallie goes straight to bed if she has Bella. But Jon has to fall asleep in my arms. Some days I wish he would go to sleep on his own. But, when he does, I pick him up in his sleep and rock him. Maybe I am crazy. I don't understand how some moms do it. Especially working full time. I can't imagine. I would miss all of these priceless moments. Being able to spend all of my time with these two can sometimes be frustrating and exhausting. To me, it's the most important work I could ever do. Being a homemaker can either go one way or the other. I love it and couldn't imagine my life any different. Do I wish I had an income? Yes. More money would be nice. But it isn't worth it to me, right now at least. I've been kind of down in the dumps lately. Feeling like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I have SO much to do. SO little time. Why does it have to go so fast? Why can't there be more time in the day. I feel so much guilt when I do housework and don't put all of my attention on these kids. I have to quickly remind myself I am not perfect. And we do need clean clothes, right? Ha! Anyway, I got in the kitchen last night and worked my magic. And it hit me. With the music on and a wooden spoon in my hand, I finally realized what I was missing for the past couple of weeks. My therapy. Cooking. Baking. Making masterpieces for my family. Oh the joy it brings me. I made a huge mess, I'm not used to having a small kitchen. Thank goodness the hubs came to the rescue and helped with dishes. Don't know how I would make it without that man!
As I was doing my bible study this morning with my usual 3rd cup of coffee, the lesson REALLY spoke to me and started a fire in my soul. A good fire. A lesson I will pass on to my husband this afternoon that I hope we can remember until death do us part. And then I realized another thing. This is so random, but, I suck at commitment. I mean I REALLY suck at commitment. Whether it be a play date, job, finishing a book, or a relationship. This is solely the main reason I refuse to homeschool. I would be terrible at it. Preschool homeschool is a different story. I see no point in preschool for my kids if I can teach them their ABCs and 123s (and all the other important good stuff of course). I've been doing it for 3 years already so why stop? There have been a few times in our marriage where I tried to bolt. I saw conflict, I saw too many differences, I wanted to run. I am SO happy I didn't. There are some days where we take 7 steps backward. Some where we take 3 forward. But lately, we have found more common ground to just meet in the middle no matter where we are each standing. I'm going to share the message. I choose different plans from my YouVersion app along with devotional books, but this is out of the app in the plan "Marriage: A Lifelong Journey"
Tie Yourself to the Mast
Are you unhappy in your marriage? If so, you might be interested to learn that two-thirds of unhappy couples who stay together say their relationship is significantly better within five years. To achieve that, it'll require you and your spouse to "tie yourselves to the mast". In case you're wondering, a mast is a post on a boat or ship. I googled it, no shame here.
In Odyssey, Homer's epic work, Odysseus encountered the mysterious Island of the Sirens. The creatures inhabiting the island possessed enchanting voices that distracted sailors from their journey, imprisoning them forever. As Odysseus' crew passed by, the creatures sang their beautiful song. But Odysseus knew the dangers. He put wax in his crew's ears and ordered that he be tied securely to the ship's mast to prevent him from being lured away by their seductive melody. Odysseus also commanded they stay true to their course no matter how bad their circumstances seemed.
Marriages in our culture (guilty) have become more transient. Too often we'll throw out relationships at the first sign of trouble. But God created marriage to be a covenant - a deeply binding commitment designed to help us weather our most difficult circumstances. It requires us to "tie ourselves to the mast." You have to dismiss the voices that try to lure you away from your marriage or convince you that divorce is an easy answer to your troubles.
God speaks to me every day telling me to love. That .one word. -love- goes so far for me. It enables me to see the beauty in everyone and everything. I have to see the beauty in my mistakes and the beauty in my failures. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't be pushing and pushing myself to be a better version of mommy and wife, a better version of the woman God wanted me to be. Every day is a new day, a new chance for me to live better. To give it my all. I am SO happy to be married to a man who loves me through the toughest storms. He doesn't let me go. No matter how hard I push him away. God put this man in my life to ...save... me. I needed saving. And I wasn't letting God in. I am so happy I finally opened that door. I owe so much to my husband, and the beauty in that is that he doesn't expect anything. He just does it because well, he loves me. :)
Here are a few snaps of our day. I've been working on being a hands free mama, which means putting the phone down and really engaging with the kids. We went for a stroll around our neighborhood. Chatted with neighbors. Shared waves and smiles. Jon didn't miss a thing. And Hallie talked about all the animals. She thanked me for taking her out because she loves getting sunshine in her heart. Yes, she said that. Word for word. My kids are amazing.
